“…Woke up in the middle of the night. And suddenly remembered my important dream. A few minutes of intense effort to bring it back. Gluttonous. Greedy. Had the feeling that the dream was part of my personality, that I had the right to hang on to it, that I must not let it escape me, that I had to be certain of it if I am to be a rounded and whole person.*
The temple bell roused me from dreams And waiting for the starlit dawn The night, alas! was long as are One hundred autumn nights.~The Sarashina Diary*
Within the field of applied cognitive psychology it is noted that memory fragments are components of our autobiographical knowledge. It is noted that some autobiographical memories may be stand-alone snippets of one’s past, ‘fragment memories’ or memories of particular moments, ‘free fragments’.
I am acquainted with a mind filled with multiple crosscurrents of unfinished thoughts, stifled emotions, and passing moods. There is also a growing recognition that at times I am overwhelmed by discursive thoughts that are formed by habitual ways of thinking, led by my own various prejudices, impacted by personal preferences or aversions, colored by laziness or selfishness, and intensified by faulty or superficial observations. Sometimes I awaken to myself to find that while engaged in a behavior, my mind has entered a dreamlike state, and therefore events and conversations are vague and fragmentary.
The feeling of an “I” emerges from a reflection of the stream of experiential consciousness that awakens when I becomes aware of being observed by an internalized watcher or seer who is felt but never known. Therefore, there is no denying that there is a wavering consciousness, an “I”, that knits together streams of memories, thoughts, feelings, and interactions in such a manner that I am able to formulate an awareness of identity, continuity, striving, as well as an sense of myself and others.
… when we hold a flower we see that it is composed of multiple elements, some tangible – leaves, stem, thorns, petals, stamens – and others intangible – scent, color, memories. If you were to remove any of these constituent parts, would you find a known entity? As we are unable to find the flower in the absence of any one of these parts, we are also unable to find an enduring solid flower in any one of these elements. Hence the belief in a permanent solid self proves to be a mere illusion as we find a self riddled with gaps and ambiguities that appear coherent because of the monologue we keep repeating, editing, censoring, and embellishing in our minds.
This week’s lens-artists’ photo challenge – bushboys world – is indeed a challenge as I found myself tossed back into a couple of graduate school psych classes.
… we stand without talking, we stand with tears … to think that I must travel a thousand miles of mist and rain and water! The evening clouds are gathering again, and the sky widens to the south. It is an old story: parting from [loved ones is] full of pain … ~Li Yung
See the mist around my pavilion: before my eyes there is mist all about. It is the image of my sadness, the reflection of my dull, still eyes. Forever will my dull eyes stare at you, pale mist, my eyes that never will light up again. ~Li Yi-hang*
*cited: The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Jade Flute, by Various
image and poetry submitted in response to Paula’s (Lost in Translation) Words of Wisdom challenge.
green moss– all the way to my lap spring’s rainbow ~Issa*
*www.haikuguy.com noted. A love note to Planet Earth. Spring’s dazzling colors touch and include Issa. He gazes and realizes: I am (we are) part of this glory!
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