equanimity

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/4000s 35mm 200 ISO

Seclusion Retreat … 11th day

Again,

I sneak into your garden

to eat aronia berries.

(Please keep yourself hidden

until I go away!)

~Ryokan (cited: K Tanahashi, Sky Above, Great Wind)

It was about 20 years ago when I was first introduced to the word equanimity, grandmother’s calm. Of note, my maternal grandmother was anything but calm. Yet, even to this day I find myself puzzled about that sudden very brief phone call in which she asked if I was pregnant. She in Oregon; I in Colorado. A couple weeks later, a positive pregnancy test. How did she know?

Equanimity is felt within the grandparent who have more than one grandchild; that is, each child is her/his grandchild and each receives love with inclusiveness absent of discrimination.

Sister Dang Nghiem (Mindfulness as Medicine) identities equanimity as an element of true love that contains inclusiveness. Inclusiveness. Yes, I personally am acquainted with the felt sense of inclusiveness — cherished and joy-filled memories gifted with unconditional togetherness (a silent moment of gratitude). Regrettably, I, as so many, am also very aware of exclusion’s uncertain darkness (A silent prayer, may we be free from anxiety).

Reflecting on the continuum of inclusion and exclusion, I find that moments of inclusiveness also block connection with others. Is there a clear differentiation between when one is in or out? (May we all love and be loved).

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/1600s 35mm 200 ISO

I hope you find grounding in the following article written by Gary Gach, Practicing equanimity in a state of emergency. Lion’s Roar March 19, 2020.

“When the crowded Vietnamese refugee boats met with storms or pirates, if everyone panicked, all would be lost. But if even one person on the boat remained calm and centered, it was enough. It showed the way for everyone to survive.” 

–Thich Nhat Hanh

“When I first heard about COVID-19 in January, I knew I’d have to dial up my equanimity mode. Equanimity is an evenness of mind, considered by Buddhists as one of four Brahma Viharas (sublime attitudes, or immeasurable abodes). Equanimity enables us to remain alert for danger while calm – and level-headed in the midst of emergency – all on an even keel.

“Equanimity doesn’t mean indifference. Mindful equanimity is grounded in caring. When I’m open-hearted and present with the suffering within and around me, then I can engage in meaningful compassionate action. Since a person can be a carrier of COVID-19 and remain asymptomatic, when I’ve done all I can to be safe, then I’m glad to know I’m not a vector for the virus to travel on to others.

“Equanimity means inclusivity. It’s interesting to note how this isn’t an epidemic we’re living through but a pandemic. The Greek roots of the word pandemic mean “pertaining to all people; public, common.” It’s vital we not let this pandemic fracture or fragment our commonality. The fact we all could eventually contract this virus is a most strange but very real reminder that we are all one.

“The inclusivity of equanimity means embracing our pain and our joy as one. It also means acknowledging obstacles as well as breakthroughs. While I’m hopeful for breakthroughs, I’d like to point out three common obstacles in our path. With mindfulness, we can stop, breathe, and smile at ourselves before our awareness gets hijacked by our habit energies of denial, anger, and fear.

“It’s a common tendency to shut down, go numb, and ignore any 800-lb gorilla in the room. Our deluded tendency to ignore has two toxic cousins: anger and fear. It’s needful to be aware of anger so we don’t blindly act out from its knee-jerk impulses. If I had tickets for this year’s now-cancelled SXSW festival in Austin, I might feel bummed that it was cancelled, push away my disappointment, then let out my micro-aggression on some innocent passerby. Moreover, other people are now living close to the edge, too, and so my anger can easily trigger their own. Say traffic stalls: rather than honk my horn and set off a chain reaction, I can pause, breathe, and smile at my natural instinct, that of others, refrain from honking back, and remain in equanimity.”

FYI

On Monday, March 23, TED kicks off a free, live and daily conversation series, TED Connects: Community and Hope. As COVID-19 continues to sweep the globe, it’s hard to know where to turn or what to think. Hosted by head of TED Chris Anderson and current affairs curator Whitney Pennington Rodgers, this new program will feature experts whose ideas can help us reflect and work through this time with a sense of responsibility, compassion and wisdom.

We are in this global boat together, please be safe.

variations on a theme

seclusion retreat … 10th day

The loneliness

of my ramshackle

grass hut,

where no one but the wind

comes to call (Saigyō Trans: B Watson, Poems of a Mountain Home)

Nikon D750… f/1.8 1,2000s 38mm 200 ISO

“One can live without coffee and without cigarettes, Liesl said rebelliously, but not without nature, that’s impossible, no one should be allowed to deprive you of that. I said, ‘Think of it as if we’d got to spend a prison sentence here, for a few years perhaps, and learn to look at the couple of trees over there across the road as if they were a forest. …” (Etty Hillesum, Trans: A Pomerans, An Interrupted Life The Diaries of Etty Hillesum 1941-1943. pg. 127)

Nikon D750… f/1.8 1,2000s 38mm 200 ISO

“… Were it possible for us to see further than our own knowledges reaches, and yet a little way beyond the outworks of our divining, perhaps we would endure our sadnesses with greater confidences than our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered into us, something unknown, our feelings grow more mute in shy perplexity, everything in us withdrawn, a stillness comes, and the new, which no one knows, stands in the midst of it and is silent. …” (Rainer Maria Rilke Trans: M D Herter Norton, Letters to a Young Poet. pg.40

Nikon D750… f/1.8 1,2000s 38mm 200 ISO

marcescence

Solitude Retreat … 9th day

In the Hida Mountains

the village pawnshop is closed –

a winter evening

~Buson (cited: Y Sawa & E M Shiffert, Haiku Master Buson

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/1600 35mm 200 ISO

you just can’t go and ask a tree

“Fall is so wonderful because of the change in the colors of the leaves, and [during the autumn months], the deciduous trees pretty much shed their leaves and become bare—well, most of those trees. …

“The process of shedding leaves is really interesting and shows the intricate evolution of nature as a way to survive through all seasons. When the days grow shorter and the amount of sunshine available to leaves decreases, the process that makes food for the trees ends. Chlorophyll begins to break down, the green color disappears, and we get those splendid colors of the fall before most trees drop their leaves.

“The process of leaf drop is also a neat little trick of nature. At the base of their stem (referred to as the petiole), leaves have a zone called the abscission layer, located near the branch to which they are attached.

“The word abscission (sounds like scissors) comes from the Latin ‘to cut away’. The abscission zone has special cells that act like scissors, cutting the leaf off from the main part of the tree in autumn. The part of the leaf stem, or petiole, nearer the leaf contains a separation layer of thin-walled cells that break readily, allowing the leaf to drop. On the branch or twig side of the petiole, there’s another special layer of cells that have a corky structure, which forms a protective layer on the tree, neatly closing up the break to prevent injury or disease. So, the cold of winter gets sealed out, while precious water that the tree continues to use through the winter is sealed in. When spring finally arrives, the return to rapid growth from the trees limbs makes leaf buds expand and swell, and the old leaves finally break off if they haven’t already. Nature is so cool!

“Most, but not all, deciduous trees go through the abscission process. But there are a number of species that exhibit marcescence, or the retention of their leaves, to some degree through the winter months. That’s what you may see when you walk through the forest in the winter. Marcescence is most common by far in the beech, followed by many species of oak as well as hornbeam

“Scientists have not established the exact reason why certain trees exhibit marcescence—you just can’t go and ask a tree. However, there are some common theories. A few of those theories are based on the observation that marcescent leaves are found most often on younger or smaller trees or on the lower limbs of bigger trees.

“One theory suggests trees may keep their leaves to deter deer and other browsing animals from eating the nutrient-rich twigs. The leaves may conceal sumptuous new buds. In fact, researchers have found that the dried leaves are less nutritious than the twigs, and that characteristic might keep the animal from trying to munch on the lower twigs of trees.

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/1600 35mm 200 ISO

“Researchers suggest another possibility for trees holding their leaves through the winter. It relates to the availability of nutrients for trees as they head into the growing season in the spring. When leaves drop in the fall, the nutrients from those leaves that accumulate on the forest floor are pretty much gone by the next spring when the tree needs food to kick off the growing season. This mulch layer would also hold in precious moisture for the trees. If the tree holds its leaves until spring, then releases them to the ground below, they may act as quick-start nutrients as the growing season begins, and this is most important for the smaller trees under much of the canopy from larger trees.

“On a related note, in some years, rapid onset of early frosts or freezes may halt the abscission process and cause many other deciduous trees to hold their leaves into part of the winter season. This would include varieties of maples and other species, but as the winter wears on most of these trees finally do lose their leaves.

“There’s no debate that the muted browns and yellows of marcescent leaves provide a beautiful backdrop in the bare forests of the winter. In addition, one benefit of trees like the beech, which keep most of their leaf canopy during the winter, is for birds who can seek shelter from the cold winter temperatures and winds among those clumps of leaves.

“For those who choose to take that wonderful saunter through a forest path during the winter, you now know why there are trees who choose “not to go naked” during the season, but wait to complete a quick change as nature’s spring fashion season swings into full gear.”

cited: Weather Underground,Tom Niziol. Marcescence: why some trees keep their leaves in winter, January 22, 2020

cee's b&w photo challenge: fences and gates

spring peace–
a mountain monk peeks
through a fence

~Issa (cited: www.haikuguy.com)

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/4000s 35mm 200 ISO

“Life may be brimming over with experiences, but somewhere, deep inside, all of us carry a vast and fruitful loneliness wherever we go. And sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.”

~ Etty Hilleson, Trans: A Pomerans, In Interrupted Life The Diaries of Etty Hillesum. pg. 78

the silence after a snowstorm

Solitude Retreat… 8th day (Snow showers and Waning Crescent moon)

melting the big snow
with a spoon…
a child

~Issa (cited: www.haikuguy.com)

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/2500s 35mm 200 ISO

“The silence after a snowstorm isn’t just your imagination — all those tiny flakes actually trap the sounds of your surroundings. 

“Chris Bianchi, a meteorologist at Weather Nation, described the phenomenon as a sort of citywide cup of tea: After a big storm, we can take a few minutes to relax and take in the quiet.

“The science behind that quiet comes down to how sound waves travel (or, more accurately, don’t travel) through snowflakes.

“‘Snowflakes, when they’re spaced further apart, there’s little gaps, obviously invisible to the naked human eye,’ Bianchi said. ‘But there are these little gaps within the snow and those are very efficient at absorbing sound.’ 

“The sound waves from cars, buildings and people get trapped in those small places between the snowflakes. 

“Not just any snow can trap noise. It has to be the freshly fallen, light and fluffy. Wet and heavy snow doesn’t leave those spaces for sound to be trapped. 

“One study found a couple of inches of snow can absorb as much as 60 percent of sound. Snow can act as a commercial sound-absorbing foam when it’s in that fluffy, freshly fallen state. 

“As the snow starts to melt, those little sound-catching spaces start to go away too.

“(When snow melts) it compacts, and that compaction reduces the amount of little crevices and nooks and crannies that sound is able to be trapped in,” Bianchi said.

“So, for at least a few hours or even a day after a snowstorm, we can get some reprieve from all that noise around us.

“‘It’s calming, it’s relaxing, it’s tranquil,’ Bianchi said. ‘Life is kind of forced in a sense to slow down.'”

cited: CPR News, Claire Cleveland and Andrea Dukakis, “Yes, it really is quieter when it snows. Here’s the science behind the calm after the storm. February 4, 2020.

seclusion retreat – 6th day

secluded house–
even here, crowd-sick
spring mountain

~Issa (cited: www.haiku.guy)

Rewatching:

The Story of Ming Lan (English Subtitles)

The Story of Ming Lan, based on the novel written by Guan Xin Ze Luan, follows the concubine-born 6th child of the Sheng household from her childhood into adulthood. Ming Lan first meets Gu Ting Ye, the 2nd son of the Gu Family, as his rival in a game of Touhu, but when she encounters him again in a time of need he goes to great lengths to help her. This dynamic plays out on a grander scale when they meet again as adults. Both Ming Lan and Ting Ye are unfavored children who suffer as a result of internal scheming in their households. Ming Lan adapts by learning to hide her talents, spirit, and intelligence, while Ting Ye, long painted as a scoundrel, decides to live recklessly. Yet they each have a rare gift of foresight. Through cunning schemes and daring endeavors, they both rise in position and work to obtain justice from those that have wronged them. Together they shape the new Emperor’s regime and work to sow and harvest a bright future

Editing photographs

Continuing with 30 day project, same lens camera wide open, that was included in an educational Thorsten von Overgaard Photography webinar.

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/4000s 35mm 200 ISO

Exercising and meditating

How are you taking care of yourself during this time of the COVID-19 virus in which we are all encouraged to socially isolate and by doing so we are also caring for others?

Solitude… Frederick Leighton

What ya doin’

Social isolation

4th day. All follow up medical appointments rescheduled.

Finished reading

Romain Gary’s The Life Before Us – Translated by Ralph Manheim.

“She explained about the place, it was what they call a dubbing studio. …it was wonderful to watch, because everything went into reverse. The dead came to life and backed into their old place in society. Somebody pressed a button and everything went the opposite direction. Cars went into reverse, dogs ran backwards, houses that had burned to the ground picked themselves up and put themselves together again before your eyes. …It was a magic world, I’ve never seen anything sweeter in all my stinking life. For a second I even saw Madame Rosa young and fresh and steady on her pins, and when I turned her back still further, she was prettier. It brought the tears to my eyes.

And then I had a real event. I can’t say I went back and saw my mother, but I saw myself sitting on the floor, and in front of me there were two legs with boots up to waist and leather mini-skirt, and I tried like mad to raise my eyes and see her face, I knew she was my mother, but it was too late, memories can’t raise their eyes. …” (pg. 77)

Editing photographs

of a socially isolated walk through Fossil Park inspired by photographers Christian Fletcher and Tony Hewitt as well as a 30 day project, same lens camera wide open, that was included in an educational Thorsten von Overgaard Photography webinar.

The image below was inspired by how Fletcher and Hewitt invited me to open myself to the beauty of Northwestern Colorado’s landscape by seeing compositional elements: leading lines, repetition, points of interest, complementary colors, and vanishing points.

fossil park

Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/4000s 35mm 200 ISO

A Journey in Composition, an ebook written by photographers Christian Fletcher and Tony Hewitt, outlines their travel across the western United States. The ebook covers fundamental aspects of composition, including color and interpreted composition techniques while paying homage to the techniques of the old masters – Stephen Shore and William Eggleston.

How are you taking care of yourself during this time of the COVID-19 virus in which we are all encouraged to socially isolate and by doing so we are also caring for others? Here is a very short video  showing how our individual action of staying home is what we can best do to alleviate global suffering.

lens artists photo challenge: chaos

Chaos – eternal, immense, uncreated – from which all is born; nether darkness nor light, nor damp nor dry, not hot nor cold, but all things mingled, eternally one and limitless.

winterwalk
Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/4000s 35mm 200 ISO

Chaos was the beginning.  Within her void slumbered, in undifferentiated fusion, all the elements, the potential, the seed of a person.  Yet, some say that Chaos was born from Mist and that Mist was the first to exist.  

Mist is symbolic of things indeterminate, or the fusing together of the elements of air and water, and the inevitable absorbing of the outlines of each aspect and each particular phase of the evolution process. 

It is also said that Chaos existed from the beginning together with Nyx, the goddess of Night, mother of Erebus, god of darkness, and Tartarus, the underworld.  

Or is Chaos the soul’s state of potentiality – eternal, vast, uncreated, where all is intermingled, folding and unfolding, evolving and enveloping – prior to the birth to the unconscious?  

winterwalk
Nikon D750 f/1.8 1/4000s 35mm 200 ISO

stillness–
in the depths of the lake
billowing clouds

~Issa (cited: www.haikuguy.com)*

*David G. Lanoue (a translator of Japanese haiku, a teacher of English and world literature, a writer of haiku and “haiku novels) writes that this haiku serves as a substitute for experience–or, perhaps, a clear window into experience–allowing the reader, in contemplation, to see that same lake, those same clouds, and to feel the serenity and stillness of the moment. 

The above images are drawn from a 30 day photo assignment (same lens – camera wide open) and are submitted in response to Leya’s lens-artists photo challenge: chaos.

May you know serenity and stillness …

30 day assignment: same lens…camera wide open (3)

winterwalk

Nikon D750… f/1.8 1/800s 35mm 200 ISO

“FRIDAY MORNING, 9 O’CLOCK. People complain about how dark it is in the mornings. But this is often the best time of my day, when the dawn peers grey and silent into my pale windows. Then my bright little table lamp becomes a blazing spotlight and floods over the big black shadow of my desk. … This morning I am wonderfully peaceful. Just like a storm that spent itself. I have noticed that this always happens following days of intense inner striving after clarity, birth pangs with sentences and thoughts that refuse to be born and make tremendous demands on you. Then suddenly it drops away, all of it, and a benevolent tiredness enters the brain, then everything feels calm again …”

cited: Trans: Arno Pomerans, An Interrupted Life The Diaries of Etty Hillesum, pg 69.